I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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