Your tits are I can't wait for
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
