At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
