a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
