Is it normal to miss your booty call?
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
