Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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