There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
