I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
you didnt know i had herpes?
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
