I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
