This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
