Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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