And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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