I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
