shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
