She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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