there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Randomize
