And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
