Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
