I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Randomize
