how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
