she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
