Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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