doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
