In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
