he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
