Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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