is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
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