Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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