she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize