If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
They have beer where we have blood.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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