im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
