There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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