Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
