It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
