maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
