I'll bet she douches with gravy.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
