It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
