i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
My Sexting was not on an AP level
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
