You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
