My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
