i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
