I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
