tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize