I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
