I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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