Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
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