I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize