please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Did I show you my penis last night?
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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