this beer tastes like vomit already
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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