Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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