Grow some girl-balls and come out already
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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