Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
At least life still wants to fuck me.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
