it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize