At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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