just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Randomize
