Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
