I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
You're breaking my sexual little heart
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
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