I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
